Whose idea was this? Our lives up to this point, and everything that we understand about them is a stone cold lie. They say, they say, who is “They” anyway? Love isn’t anything like I or you, thought it was. The love I knew was a lie.
No matter how we are raised we all still grow up with this idea that if we are loved, it’s for a reason. If someone loves you, it’s not real until they can list it in bullet points. It’s definitely not love if looks come anywhere near the first part of that list. Someone has to be smart, treat you well, respect you and do nice things or be a nice person? Sure. Because history doesn’t show that – let’s face it, we all love assholes. Assholes are actually scientifically proven to get a promotion before your nice ass, let me just point out. Someone loves not nice people. I digressed but I had to set the stage because society makes it so easy to believe that you aren’t lovable until someone can make a list on your ass about what’s socially acceptable as lovable. I’m in love. How do I know? I just do. I don’t have a fucking list but I am. Note, I am not referring to abusive relationships or something purely unhealthy here, I refuse to outline what those standards are because frankly, this is not the Hallmark Channel.
Religion contradicts this only slightly. That God loves us because of who God is, not because we’ve done anything to deserve that love. Well, I’m glad God loves our sorry asses? Again, someone loves an asshole, right? However, despite all that love we must still accept God to be close to God and live on- happily mind you, after death. Okay, I can roll with that. We can love someone and not accept them, usually though until we have a list we think makes sense. We’ve seen all the romantic movies, the guy goes on a whole rant about how the girl makes silly faces when she sneezes, eats cereal walking backwards, and dances in her underwear at 11 pm to get ready for bed. That’s unfortunate, what if she changed all of that? You’re telling me when she sneezes normally that’s just the fuck it, huh? Love.
I’m in love with someone and no idea why. Sure, I’m very physically attracted but that’s not what I feel when I look at him- enough of the time. He’s got a silly ass smile that isn’t a Ken doll but gawd does it make me blush at the thought of it. Those things aren’t why I love him though. Those are things that I like. Quite different. I adore every inch of him, even this birthmark he has on his leg he’s tried to cover several times, I don’t give a fuck about it though. Some people say you’re in love because of how the person makes you feel. Meh. I don’t get butterflies, my legs don’t go weak – not every time I see him. I can count those times. People say, I feel comfortable with them, I can be myself. I applaud you, but that’s not it either. Those things I like, I don’t LOVE. I just love him. Can I shrug for my wedding vows? I’ve researched the twin flame thing and yeah he’s my twin. How do I know, I just do. Not everyone gets one. I got one. So the shit was going to be equally special and difficult from the jump. It’s just love. I’m eating a dish and have no fucking idea what’s in it, I don’t care just love what I’m eating. Hilarious because I’m vegan, but you get the point. He could be an entirely different person tomorrow and my love will still be the same. There is this invisible glue I’ve seen that just makes it so we can only go but so far apart, yet I’m not attached- I don’t feel those yuckies of attachment. So what is it? It’s love. Oh but if it were love there would be more of this imaginary societal foundation for it. Hmm not really. He doesn’t have to be anything more or less. Those things are null. They would be nice and probably helpful to a healthy sustaining relationship but they don’t make me love him any more or less. So again, can I shrug for marriage vows? They are going to be really short. I just love. That’s love I think. No lists, no basis in this physical that is always ever changing. That’s truly unconditional. There are numerous things that we like about people, love though, really doesn’t have a reason, just is. Love is and comes from God. Source, source for all, including love. Love is not an act, one can act out of love, love itself is – it seems to me a state of existence? A state of energy. As we all know, energy is neither created or destroyed, it is transmuted.
People get afraid, “oh, one day you might wake up and that feeling is gone. How do you know it’s real?” Well, dear those people, love transcends time, and space, including the physical and emotional. If your love is in those finite things, how do you know you’re love is real? Mine sits in a place where it isn’t likely to change because nothing is there to change it, nothing can touch it. Things touch your heart everyday, someone can steal that, too. Where my love for this person resides has always been there, like a candle someone came along with a flame to light it. Except the candle never melts and the flame gently burns for all of time and beyond. Hard to imagine? Yeah, so is unconditional love. I’d try to describe it again for you, I don’t think that’s truly possible though. When and if the day comes, I will tell him, because he has no flippin idea. If someone says they love you, you’ll probably go “cool, why?”. I don’t have an answer for him and never will. He’s an asshole on the outside, I doubt that will fly. Love is beautiful and certainly not anything we think it is, in the least bit, what-so-ever. Love is love, no explanation required. If someone says they love you and they don’t give an explanation why and they are clearly searching their mind for the words, give it a minute and enjoy the cuteness, then stop them right there. I think that’s how love at first sight works. You just know. Except I had to see this person several times in numerous situations and throw in some subtle denial. Then one day I was like shit, I’m in love. No, not in love, I just love. I love this person- this human right here, him. Why? Aura shrug, mental shrug, emotional shrug and God smiled. Yeah, I know, play along okay? These are representations people. Ever since then, life has been the same. I’d say it hasn’t been normal but let’s be honest, when has my life ever been normal or close to? No, my life just got a bit more magical. What that experience is like, well that’s up to your interpretation now isn’t it? Is it cliche to end with a question?